Does anyone know any quick cheap ways to get drunk?

i hope when you say that your expecting a kid that you are the father and just want to save money for when the baby's momma pops out the lil demon. if this is the case just get some everclear, that should be enough to get you messed up. make sure to chug the whole bottle straight or it wont do the trick, but first write an apology to your kid in advance for messin up their life